Fearing Josh
by WolfObsessed
Summary: Here's another one of my sister cutiekuki's stories! She writing alot of them at once time because she has alot of ideas! Warning contains rape & attempted suicide!
1. Chapter 1

Josh was on his bed reading a book. He looked up at the sound of the bedroom door closing. His jaw dropped, the book he was reading fell to the floor at the sight of his wet step brother, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. Yes he'll admit he's attracted to him, very attracted. Josh loves Drake more then anything. But Drake changes him, & not in a good way. He does stuff he normally would never do. Josh is scared of the guy Drake turns him into. He's trying not to show Drake his feelings for him, trying not to do the things he wants to do with him, because the good Josh knows its wrong & he also doesn't want to hurt Drake. But Drake makes it so hard. Drake's flawless, the most prettiest creature in the world. Everything Drake does makes him crazy, makes his lust & want build up more & more.

"Josh you ok? You dropped your book." Drake asked, waking Josh up from his thoughts.

Drake was leaning down to him so they were at eye level, his face was only a couple inches apart from Josh's. Josh's eyes got dark, got that cold, wanting, lustful stare that always scared Drake. That look was always met for him, no one else ever saw it. If anybody else would see that stare they would go thats so unJosh like, but Drake knew better. Josh wasn't the goodie goodie two-shoes everyone saw him as, when it was just him & Josh his dark side would come out. His voice gets demanding, he gets rough, & he gets that scary look in his eyes. He hates that side of Josh, he's afraid no terrified of that side of Josh. Josh wasn't always like this, he used to be the Josh he loved, the Josh that never scared him. The first time he saw that stare from Josh was when they thought Walter was cheating on Audrey & Josh was jumping on Drake's bed to wake him up. He landed on top of him, smiling down at him. "Hey." He whispered. But then Josh's eyes changed from the innocent, sweet look to that cold stare. That made Drake stare up at him fearfully, not sure what was going on. Now ever since that night Josh has changed into the guy Drake fears.


	2. Chapter 2

Drake was startled when Josh grabbed the back of his wet neck & closed the gap between them. Drake's eyes widened as Josh kissed him roughly, forcing his tongue in his mouth. Josh pulled Drake onto his bed & went on top of him. Drake was to scared to move. Josh put his hand on the towel about to take it off, when Drake stopped him with his shaking hands.

"J-Josh-Josh..." That's all Drake could say.

Josh roughly shook Drake's hands off, then looked at him with those scary eyes.

"Your a tease! You know that!?"

Drake swallowed a big lump in his throat. Josh removed the towel so Drake was exposed. He stared at Drake's erection for a while before he roughly grabbed it, making Drake yelp out in pain.Josh moved up & down Drake's member with his hand, & Drake couldn't help but to moan. Josh replaced his hand with his mouth. He sucked it harder & harder until Drake came. He swallowed it. He started to take off his pants.

"Josh...Don't...Don't please." Drake begged, finally having enough courage to say something.

But Josh already had his pants & boxers off. He finally had Drake right where he wanted him. He went the whole way in Drake. Drake cried out in pain. Josh went in & out, hard & fast. Tears fell from his hurt, betrayed eyes. Josh was hurting him, really hurting him. When Josh came inside of him, he got out of him, rolled off Drake, & fell asleep.

Drake tried to get out of Josh's bed & stand, but he was to weak. So he just crawled out of the bed. He knew he couldn't climb the ladder to his bed, so he just crawled to the couch, & layed down. Drake cried, he cried himself to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

How could he do that to Drake? He was afraid of hurting him & he did! Drake fears him, he knows it! Drake hates him, he knows it! Josh hates himself for hurting the boy he loves more than anything. He was standing in front of the couch, staring at the naked, shaking, sleeping boy on it. Drake had cried himself to sleep, he could see the dried tears on his face. Josh was guilty, extremely guilty. He grabbed a blanket & covered Drake up. He kissed Drake softly on the forehead.

"I'm sorry Drake." Josh whispered sadly.

Then he left the room.


	4. Chapter 4

Drake hasn't come out of his room all day. Everyone was getting worried, even Megan. So Audrey went up to see why her son hasn't come down. She saw him laying on the couch, staring at the blank t.v.

"Drake Honey...Are you ok?"

Without looking at her he said. "Yeah."

"Why are you up here laying alone in your room?...This is so unlike you."

Unlike. He hated that word. That word didn't exist to him. He used to think it was so unlike Josh to be so cold, but it wasn't.

"Everybody is different when their alone...Unlike don't exist."

Audrey was really worried, her son was scaring her. She walked closer to the couch, so she could get a better look at her son. Tears filled her eyes at the sight of her son. Tears falling from his sad, hurt, betrayed eyes, his skin was pale as a ghost, he had red bags under his eyes, & he was shaking. Audrey pulled Drake into a protective hug.

"Don't touch me!" Drake cried, trying to push her away.

"Oh Drake...What happened? Please tell me."

He didn't want to tell her what had happened to him, he didn't want to tell her what Josh did to him.

"I-I..." Drake didn't know what to tell her. He was always good at lying, but now he couldn't think of a lie.

So he just said. "I...Just want to be left alone."

"But Drake..." Audrey started to protest but Drake cut in.

"Please mom...Please."

Audrey nodded & left.


	5. Chapter 5

Its been a couple of weeks & Drake still hasn't come out of his room. Walter or Audrey been bringing him up food & drinks, even though Drake never touched them. Drake was still naked under the blankets, he was still laying on the couch. Josh has moved into the guest room, he told his parents he didn't want to bother Drake. Their family was falling apart with Drake like this, & it was all his fault.

Josh was in the guest bed trying to sleep, but couldn't, he couldn't sleep ever since he did that to Drake, not with all this guilt.

He quickly sat up when he heard footsteps. His eyes went wide in fear when he saw an outline of a person in front of the bed.

"Who are you?"

When he got no answer he turned on the lamp.

"D-Drake?" Josh asked with surprise, fear, & worry.

"We need to talk!" Drake said firmly.

"Um...Your right." Josh agreed quietly.

"I'm so so sorry! I never ever wanted to hurt you! I-I don't know what happened!...Its just that when I'm around you I'm different! I-I guess I just kept all these feelings inside me that it turned me into a scary, perverted boy!...I'm sorry!"

"Like what kind of feelings could turn you into raping me, Huh!?" Drake asked with anger in his voice.

"I fear you Josh...I fear that guy you tun into! I hate that guy!"

"I hate that guy too...b-because he hurts you." Josh said softly.

Josh was afraid of telling Drake the truth, but Drake deserved to know. Drake had already said he hated him so what could be any worse?

"I love you Drake...I've always had."

That's when Drake lost it. He attacked Josh, & hit him over & over. Josh let him because he deserved it, he deserves Drake's hatred, he deserved anything Drake gave him.

"That's what this is all about!?" Drake cried still hitting him. "That's what made you do this to me!?"

Drake stopped hitting Josh, tears poured out of his eyes, his voice cracked. "Your so stupid Josh...I loved you too... B-before you changed!...I miss the Josh who always had warm, inviting eyes...The dorky fun-loving Josh who was always so sweet & innocent!"

Drake got off of Josh, stood up, & stared down at him. " You were always there to protect me...I felt safe with you! You were my everything Josh...I loved you more then anything...But you hurt me!...You hurt me so much!"

Silence filled the room. The boys were just staring at each other. Josh began crying himself. Then all the sudden Drake starts to laugh, making Josh angry.

"What's so funny!? What could you possibly find funny from all this!?"

"Its that even after everything you have done to me...I-I still love you." Drake paused. "B-but I don't want to love you...Not this guy you have become."

Then Drake turned around & left.


	6. Chapter 6

Josh opened up the bathroom mirror, & took out a razor. Tears stung his eyes. He didn't know what else to do. He cut his left wrist as deep as he could. It didn't hurt, it didn't hurt at all. It felt good, pain felt good. It felt like it was freeing him. Blood gushed out of his wrist. He started feeling dizzy, then he just past out. When Josh woke up he was lying on a bed, in a white room. Josh realized he was in the hospital. He looked at his left wrist which was bandaged up. He was surprised to see Drake sitting in a chair by his side staring at him with tear stained eyes.

Drake pulled him into a hug. "Josh...Promise me you won't do that again...Don't make me find you like that again...It was scary...I-I was afraid I was gonna lose you...I love you too much to lose you...I need you." He cried.

Josh got out of his grip & looked at him sadly. "I don't deserve your love."

Drake hugged him again. "Yes you do...I don't care anymore about what happened...Your hurting inside...I'm hurting inside...We need each other."

_"JOSH!" Drake cried as he saw Josh on the bathroom floor in a puddle of blood._

_He ran over to him & fell to his knees. He picked Josh up in his arms. _

_"MOM! DAD! HELP!" He cried._

_Drake hugged Josh's body close. He rocked back & fourth with his head buried in Josh's shoulder as he cried._

_"Please don't die." He repeated over & over._

_"I'm sorry...I'm sorry I told you I didn't want to love you..." _

_Drake stopped hugging him, so he could look down at Josh's pale face. "I forgive you Josh...J-just don't die..."_

_Drake burst into more tears & hugged Josh again._

_"I need you Josh...I need you."_

**_This is the last chapter! My sister wants to thank all the people who reviewed & she hopes she doesn't disappoint you, she hopes its a good ending! XD_**


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